TikTok Isn't Worth It
God knows us.
I know how easy it is to become discouraged - think no one gets it - think you are the only one who has ever been through something like this.
But that's almost impossible to be true and we really are not so alone after all.
I really need to write this down so I never forget the faithfulness of our Creator, who knows us by name and loves us well.
For the last few months I have been working really hard to grow social media platforms like Tiktok and Instagram. I see all these people dancing and showing what they're wearing and how they made some new fancy vegan cheesecake and they have millions of followers.
Doesn't sound too hard does it?
I was on a mission.
Tiktok was gonna be mine.
I posted 5 times a day for 30 days.
Every day.
I scrolled through the very depths of my camera roll for any somewhat entertaining content I could find, and guess what, I did it.
I met my goal and it was working.
I posted a random video of myself making oat milk and it got over 6 million views.
6 million people and probably 50,000 of them were fighting about me hashtagging “#veganplantbased” when I used honey.
It was awesome. I said please, continue. It helps the algorithm.
I felt like I had made it when one morning I woke up and had gained hundreds of followers weeks after the oat milk video.
I have over 9,000 followers and it only took me a month.
A girl with millions of followers had simply mentioned my video in a Tiktok of herself also making oat milk, and people had come and found me.
Weird. But I said, hey whatever works. Buy my jewelry.
Then another few weeks went by. I continued posting. I still enjoyed it.
And then I became an addict to the app.
I already have an addictive personality by nature - it's something that helps me in a lot of areas, but also can become negative if not checked.
AKA, I had become very obsessed with Tiktok.
So I deleted it. No more, I said. I'm tired of creating for it when I've only received a handful of orders from the 6 million people who have seen me.
It was gone - and then I read more success stories of small businesses completely being transformed by Tiktok.
I tried again.
My videos did okay - every once in a while I'd get one with 20,000 views but most went pretty unnoticed.
I recently had a busy few weeks. I was in a wedding, had a friend staying with me, I was figuring out moving, starting a new trade school, making decisions about my work and more.
It felt like a lot. And so is all of life.
Well - it had been a few weeks, Wearing Hope was suffering from my lack of creating content, and I hadn't posted for around 5 days on Instagram.
That’ll hurt a small business.
I hadn’t gotten any orders for 5 days either. I had sent a girl to do an event for me and we sold one pair of earrings. I was tired.
Out of ideas. Creativity was gone.
Everything always leads to a crying in your car moment, so there I was, crying in my car.
Thinking things like, “God is there a point? Am I doing the right thing?”
Cried some more.
Got over myself.
I clicked on Tiktok to see if there was any interaction with my last video, and I was honestly going to delete the app if nothing had come from it.
My latest video: 1 like, 1 comment.
Except it didn’t feel like that moment when Julie in “Julie and Julia” gets HER first comment on her blog. It felt like the moment after where she went, “It was my mom” frustratingly. (If you know, you know.)
I clicked on the comment, and guess what.
“I just placed an order! I am so excited to get my pieces from you! Your things are beautiful.”
God? Is that you?
Does Tiktok work?
Lol.
I was genuinely so excited. $38 had never felt so sweet.
I thanked God, took it as a sign that it wasn’t all for nothing.
I called my boyfriend and was like, “Look what God has done!”
Truly. I was pumped. It had been a discouraging week, if you couldn’t tell.
Within the hour I got another email “You have a new order.”
$98.
God!? What!
The person from Tiktok went back and placed ANOTHER order.
Bless her.
A little while later, I was leaving my work space and got a voice memo from a friend.
I was still sad inside. I was thankful - but still discouraged and overwhelmed and she started her voice memo with, “This might be too much to ask because it's short notice…”
We were having dinner that night with friends so I was certain she was asking me to bring something.
“...would you be able to make something minimal and funky for someone for me?”
Wept.
Thank you, Lord.
Over the next few hours, this happened. Friends who had forgotten to venmo me for things, did. People I never knew placed orders. DM’s from people asking for something custom made.
Someone even DM’d me and specifically said, “I’ve been wanting to order for a while, but today felt like the right time.”
EXCUSE ME?
Over the entire weekend, I had steady orders coming in. I was so amazed and so thankful.
A few days ago, I went back and realized I had received 7 orders the day I was so discouraged.
Over the weekend, 7 more.
God was there.
Over-spiritualizing is not here, I had so clearly been praying for this and God was there, in the way I so deeply needed.
If you’re not one who believes in God, or has not read the Bible, 7 is the “number of completion.” God uses it consistently throughout creation, in miracles, even a week has 7 days.
This is a sign that God sees you if you need that. I struggled with loneliness for years - deep loneliness - and God taught me how to see Him in the small miracles.
I praise Him that He lets me see Him in the good, and even in the grime.
It’s better this way.